Hinck-town!

Well, here I am. But I hope for not too long. I don't believe that I would be able to stand it. But the sad thing is is that my few days here in Hinckley have been much more exciting than perhaps three days in Plymouth.

On my way to Hinckley, I stopped by the computer lab and visited with Heather and Sam. I called Darren and harassed him, but seemed like a superhuge dork on the phone since I was hopped up on caffiene and lack of sleep. Not a good combo. Then I also got to talk to Ben on the phone. So, it was a good catching up time. Also, (this is the highlight of Menononie!) Cory and I went to eat at El Patio. Damn, have I missed their chimichangas!! I am definitely going to have to have supper there over homecoming! (Then I get a bigger chimi AND guacamole!) But I made a return customer out of Cory (who has been in Menomonie for YEARS and never eaten there, nevermind the fact that he has been to the grocery store RIGHT NEXT DOOR to it!) And he got free food because they mis-made an order and gave it to us. Since I had no refrigerator (and did not wish to risk yet another case of mild food poisoning) I let him have it all. The last two hours of the drive were booooooring. I had thought that I was going to get stuck in rush hour traffic, but it wasn't so bad. I got to H-town about 6:30-ish then Mom and I went to Tank's for supper.

Tuesday I went to the public library to use the internet. Saw Nancy Lyseth and she told me that Lena is going back to school to become an English Teacher since she cannot find a job in her field. I also found a couple of jobs that I am going to apply to as soon as I am done updating my blog. Then that evening my cousin Jason and his cousin Sambo came up and ran a diagnostic on my mom's car. Apparently one of her CO2 sensors are out. Then I remembered that my check engine light has been on nonstop since I bought my car so I asked (Read: threatened with no food) Sambo to please run it on mine. It said my front two CO2 sensors are out. I told him that when I bought it I called the dealership the next day and they told me maybe I had put a bad tank of gas in there. (I hadn't put any in at that point) So Sambo said that was odd, becuase once you put enough good stuff in there and it reads that over and over it should have cleared itself out. But it hadn't, and he did that, and it hasn't been on since. Good stuff.

I went to see Dr. Kyle yesterday and he fixed me up good. :) Glad the headache is gone! Then Jenny Dixon and I went to Tanger. It was nice hanging out with her again!! I missed having friends SO MUCH! I bought a shirt at Old Navy for myself. She got a sweater but by the time we walked to Zales (haha!) and back she had herself talked out of it so she returned it. Then we had lunch at the Mandarin Buffet (I had a plate of General Tso's chicken, lo mein noodles, fried chicken, and cream cheese puffs and a plate of fruit - not bad!) Then we stopped at a jeweler's in Pine City and Jenny absolutely fell in love with an engagement ring and decided that soon she would tell Keith: Any time now! I wouldn't go so far as saying "ultimatum". Then I sat on the heating pad for the rest of the evening.

Shaun had a phone interview with Ecolab yesterday, and he said it seemed to go well. It's for a position in the cities. His last day at Steger's is Friday. He told me that he wasn't sure when he'd be able to make it up here, and I told him I wasn't even expecting him to make it until the end of next week. He has requested that I not get my hopes up about things so that I don't come crashing down when they don't come through. The funny thing is is that I told him once that I hope for things and then tell myself that they aren't going to happen so I am not so disappointed when they don't. He told me to not be negative. I guess that was then, this is now. But I miss him and I snuggle down into my blankets every night and pass out. I think that's only because I don't have to think about how much his snoring is irritating me. Ah, well. I can't wait to hear it again.

Going home!

Well, I'm 'packing' to go home. 'Packing' means doing everything but. And it's raining, so who really wants to drag schiznit outside in the rain? I know I don't. Bleck. Hopefully it'll taper off before too late. I do have to get that done. Bleck. Or else I can just drag it all out in the morning. I'm looking forward to my lunch with Cory and seeing el computadora laboratora. I'll get to see Heather and who knows who else tomorrow. So I'll probably be in Menomonie until late afternoon, then have to head off to make the final two hour leg of my drive home. I can't wait. I'll miss being able to search the internet for wedding crapola, though! I'll have to make sure that I get a pass to the library so that I can get in there and get on the internets to do job searching and updating my blog, of course! So adieu for now, hopefully it won't be too long!

Damn....

There are so many things going on in my life... and yet not. First and foremost. Hurricane Rita. Someone I know is actually going to be directly affected by her. Someone I've known most of my life. And that would be Mrs. Jean Tass. She lives in Houston. She's really worried about it (even though when I talked to her last night she was rather philosophical about it saying, "There's nothing I can change by worrying about it, so I'm going to do whatever it is I have to do when the time comes.") but she's (thankfully) evacuating to Dallas with some school friends. Pete had an already-planned trip to Iowa this weekend so he won't be with her. But she has people she knows to stay with. All of my thoughts and prayers go with everyone affected by this next round of weather. I find it hard to belive that this is happening again, and I can do nothing but hope that this will not be as bad as New Orleans. I find myself rather numb with it all, and with all of its ramifications. Amazing. Shocking. Unfathomable.

Tomorrow I have off at Target; Saturday is my last day there. (4-11) Plan on packing Sunday and taking off Monday morning. Cory and I are going to have lunch when I make my stop in Menomonie, I'm debating between El Patio or Acoustic. It's tough! And I'm thinking about working at Target again (since I know I can get hired and I know what I'm doing...) for a 'in the meantime' type of job if I don't get anything better. But I'd have to move closer to one than 45 mintues! That doesn't make it worth the gas to drive there! Hopefully something better will come through... But I am thinking about burning a mix CD to listen to after the store closes and we finish zoning and reshopping. They need some different CD's! But I get paid tomorrow and I can't remember the last time I bought clothes, so here's hoping some at Target fit! Right now there is sooo much cute clothing and it SUCKS staring at it all day!

Can't wait to go home, even though I give it two weeks until I freak out and need to get away. Not to mention seeing Shaun. I doubt that I'll be able to see him until the weekend of Oct. 14th. Then the 20th is our taste-testing, then that weekend is homecoming at Stout. Yayers. But Shaun's going to be looking into getting a job in the MN area, even just a factory job right now so that we can have some $$. Even though that will give us such a narrow margin of living that there will be no spare $. Oh, and thats including whatever crappy little part time job I can get. Yikes.

Too Amusing...

I can't call this procrastination, because there's really nothing I'm putting off to do this. :-) What a strange feeling!


1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME (your first pet's name + first street you lived on)
Princess Highway 48 (technically, we were route 3 box 34B)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack)
Ada Mae Chocolate

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant)
Hard Drive El Patio

4. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME (first initial + last three letters of your last name)
Dson or Dala (I prefer Dala!)

5. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (favorite animal + name of high school)
Horse Hinckley

6. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name + city where you were born):
Lee Cambridge

7. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME (middle name of parent [opposite sex] + cell phone company you use):
Lee T-Mobile

8. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (first 3 letters of your last name + last 3 letters of mother's maiden name + first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Johulsett

Thinking too hard...

I just wish I could turn back the pages to my childhood when I had it so good (even though I didn't think I had). Innocence is something that you can never regain once lost. Is growing up and becoming an adult and being able to think for yourself and taking responsibility for your actions compensation enough? Sometimes I almost don't think so. I like being able to think for myself but I overdo it. Everything is overanalyzed. Think about all of the days you had as a child where you could just go play and do whatever it is that you wanted. And how often you play-acted at being an adult. It's amazing to me. When kids we can't wait to grow up and once we are some of us wish we could go back to childhood and all of those carefree days. One of my favorite memories is swinging on our swingset in the shade of our trees. The grass hadn't been mowed for a while so the grass was a thick, green, luxurious carpet; almost black in the shade. The day was a warm one, one of the last ones in August. But the shade of those trees and the coolness of the grass were the perfect balance to the blazing sun and the singing of the cicadas. The breeze that was blowing smelled so fresh. I can still hear the rustle of the leaves on the trees.

Unfortunately, right now my life is nothing but stress, frustration and disappointment. There are good moments, yes. But they are much fewer than the bad. Thank God I have Shaun to help me through some of this! Even though I know that he is going through the same thing. He's convinced that he's going to have to be the 'provider'. An old-fashioned idea, yes, but one now that I am having to make a life for myself is more attractive than I used to think as an idealistic high schooler and college student. As frustrated as I get that women, even in this enlightened day and age, are still making less doing the same job as men. And then ironically, all I wish for sometimes is the 'protector and provider'. What a bad feminist I would make. And striking out on my own and carving a niche for myself in this world is something that scares me you-know-what-less. It has been four months since my graduation from College and the only job that I have been able to get is working for a pittance at Target, doing what I consider to be slave labor. It just seems to be a confirmation of my worthlessness. I'm mediocre at my 'profession'. I wish that I had one thing that I knew/did well enough I could make a living off of. And I also know that I'm not doing as good of a job search as I should be because I am scared of not hearing anything and just re-confirming my beliefs about myself. Only one interview after all of the resumes that I have put out? Shocking. Disturbing. I know that everyone who saw my Senior Project stuff said that if I hadn't pointed it out they wouldn't have known the difference between mine and my classmate's work. It means a lot to me, but the really telling thing is that no one who knows design and does design had ever said anything about mine being equal or better than that of anyone else's. Maybe everyone else is just as insecure in their work as I am. It's entirely possible. The program definitely isn't set up to encourage satisfaction. It is pounded into you your entire time there that you have the rest of the design world to compete with. But I see some designs and wonder how some people got hired because I could do a better job than that. There is a need even for mediocre designers for companies that don't need anything other than functional. But it does sound like a job you would get burned out on quickly.

I have been debating for a long time whether I should post something like this because I was worried that my friends and family that read this would say that I was just enjoying feeling bad for myself. Trust me, I'd prefer not to. But then I decided that I started this blog to lay out my feelings honestly for a positive outlet and not worry about what people thought of me. So, here it is. Honest and unpolished. Take it as you will. Hopefully it will be with some empathy and good advice. :)

Weekend Pictures

You can barely see the capitol in the background... there's a streak of unlit black and then that blur behind it... Yeah, that's the capitol. Once again, if I had a good camera it'd look better.


Jen, her mom and stepdad at the reception site decorating before the ceremony. She was obviously unprepared for the picture.


A statue that was in the graveyard of the church the ceremony was at. It was such a melancholy statue, I had to take a picture of it. The lichens give it depth. The only thing I wished was that I had turned my flash off.


Details of the flowers.

A decision has been made...

I am going to give my two week's notice to Target today. I am unable to get anything wedding related done otherwise! I'm going to try to find employment in the Twin Cities someplace. Hopefully I'll be able to find something! But this is after yesterday... when they called me at 8:30 while I was sleeping in the most comfy bed EVER in Madison) saying that I was supposed to work that morning. WHAT?! I had requested it off... I had put it in my application, during my interview, during orientation, and then the week I started working to make sure I had it off. How much more obvious could I make it that I NEEDED THAT DAY OFF?! I had been committed to it since my sophomore year of college! I had gotten Fri-Sat off so I assumed that I had Sunday off, too. But nope. So I'll go in today (its going to be weird! I hate this kind of thing!) and tell them I'm sorry about yesterday, it was completely inadvertent and that if I had noticed I was scheduled I would have asked for it to be switched to evening hours. And then bust out the 'I'm sorry, but I have family matters that I must move back to Minnesota to take care of' spiel. I'm scared it's going to come out wrong! But oh, well. I am so happy to be going home and seeing family and friends again.

And then I read our booklet that we got from Glen Cary our church. We called them just before my birthday at the end of July and they promised to have something mailed to us within three weeks. So we called them at the beginning of September since we had not received anything and then we got something. And in it it says we need to talk to the Pastor no later than 6 months before the ceremony! EEKS! We now have 4.5 and it's going to be 4 before we get to meet with them (unless by some miracle Target lets me go before that...). And that the date isn't confirmed until then. Yikes. And we need to get them $400 IN THE OFFICE on or before the 15th. Express mail, here we come. This thing has got me stressing! Oh, well I suppose.

And we didn't get cell phones. We decided just to hold off on this. But that means that in Hinckley I'll have basically no phone service. Unless I get calls at home. Sheesh. I'll have to make sure our wedding vendors know this.

Jenny and Josh's wedding was beautiful! It was super hot (but not as hot as it was during your wedding, Jean) but I withstood it. It was super cute when they tried to light their unity candles... the wax from the two sticks dumped into the unity candle and drowned the wick so they stood there for minutes trying to get the wick lighted then Jenny finally dumped the wax down the side and then everything was fine. I got to sit next to Jenny at the reception (her mom was Matron of Honor and sat at a different table with her husband) and I congratulated them on a wonderful wedding and reception. They said thanks but that everything went well but the candle. And I told them that it was a great moment and it broke the tension. And they would remember it forever. Jenny was crying so hard at the rehearsal that she could barely get the vows out. But she did a little better at the actual ceremony even though she was crying. I saw many people wiping tears out of their eyes. It was super sweet. The DJ was great and Shaun danced with me! YAY!!!! I loved it soooo much! I got nasty and sweaty dancing but it worked out alright. I did my own hair and when I tried putting it up after putting curls in it it looked horrible. So I left it down and put the stuff I wrecked bobbypinned behind my ears.

Then yesterday we registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We still have to do Target. Shaun registered at Home Depot for a impact driver, drill, and circular saw. Figures.

Hey, Kids!

Been a while since I've updated... but all I've been doing is working or dreading work. Since I've requested 2-3 nights per week I got one day. Sweet. Typical, too. And now I've been wondering what I'm going to do if I get an interview someplace and I have to work? I have to request days off three WEEKS in advance, since that's how far out they complete the schedule. But it's also nice since then I can at least know what days off I have. I tried beling flexible, but I DO have a wedding to plan in Minnesota! Sheesh. I was told that I can't leave since I am one of the 'few good ones'. I'm thinking that maybe they're hoping to get me into a higher-up position since I'm doing operator (fitting rooms/mens/shoes/answering phone) and John (LOD) told me that that was what Jen P. used to be and now look at her... shot up the ranks! Anyways...

We went to the Sheboygan county fair last Friday (I actually had it off!) with Jason B. It was funny, I was going to Sheboygan to go shopping for the wedding this coming weekend and then I saw J in his car and called him and he told me that he got here half an hour before. Last time we had talked he wasn't sure if he was going to make it or not, so it was really cool that we got to hang out with him. There was someone else there... if you want to hear about it e-mail me. :) And I was disappointed that the horse barn was closed when we got there, but there were ponies stationed outside in little stalls of their own and one had a baby that wasn't even a month old! He was so cute! Then we went home and I had an amaretto sour and went do bed.

Saturday we didn't do much, I had to be to work at 4:30. Sunday we went out to the lake for breakfast, then we went back to the house and relaxed then I went to work. Monday we moved into the basement from upstairs. There is NO daylight down here, and it is sooo odd waking up (that first morning was 10:21!!). And now Shaun has a whole AREA to make dirty instead of just a room... and doing a 'good' job of it, too. Makes me so angry!

This weekend I'm in Jenny Mickey's wedding, so I took Fri-Sun off. It should be a grand ol time! I don't know many people ther either so I only have Shaun. But he can come to the rehearsal dinner (at Damon's) and sit at the bridal party table! Heehee how cute! :) At least I won't have to leave him alone, he hates that so much... not knowing anybody. So this will probably be my last update until monday.

Andrea called me last night and while I was outside I stepped on glass! First I showed Shaun it (he couldn't see it so he thought it fell out... Yeah, glass just falls out of cuts ;-) ) then when he started towards my foot to get it out I said, "NO! I want your mommy to do it!" So I went upstairs and asked her but Leanne's nearsightedness is not that great, and it was poor lighting too, so in the end Shaun did have to do it. He still maintained that it fell out, but when I drug a gauze pad over it it snagged on something that wasn't me. He thought it was my skin, but I could have told that. Anyways, Shaun tried getting it out and it hurt so I bit my arm to distract me from that pain. I can see red marks on my arm today from my canines. But he eventually got it out. It was a skinny little bastard! Just a sliver but oh, did it hurt! Anyways, I'm fine now so all's well that ends well. Talk to you all soon! :)

P.S. I might have a different cell phone number at the end of the weekend! Then it'll actually work here and it won't be constantly cutting out! It's going to be Verizon.

Katrina

I have been thinking about Katrina and what she did to the south a lot. I feel so bad for all of those people... but it's like the tsunami - the tragedy makes me sick, but I also feel so detached from it all... like it might as well be across the world from me. But it's not. I pray for these people whenever I think of them. I just hope it doesn't get as bad as people think it can. I wish I could do monetary donations, but I'm practically living in the negatives right now. And I don't have anything else to offer anyone besides my prayers, so that's what I am doing for the victims of Katrina. But I stumbled across this tonight, and I think it's really cool. I wish I was able to do this.

www.craigslist.org --->People offering housing for victims of Katrina
www.shareyourhome.org--->The same

The only bad part of this is: Who has internet access down there? But at least the offers are there!

God Bless You All