not much to say

Hey, all!

Just a quick update... I'm going to be in a big dark pit until the 9th getting all of my homework done for then. Then after that it's graduation on the 14th (Jamie, I really do hope you can come to our party!) And then moving out the week of the 20th so we can get it DONE and then ??? No jobs yet so that's a tough one. We'll be staying at either his or my parents'. I'd love to stay at mine because 1. Be closer to my mom and family and friends and 2. Hard to plan a wedding from 5.5 hours way. One really good reason why I don't want to stay there: Secondhand smoke. That's about my biggest deterrent and I just don't want to do that again. And staying at his parent's house would be just odd, I think, anyways. We'll see.

Weekend Update

We left to go to Hinckley on Friday afternoon. Got stuck in rush hour on 694 by about White Bear Ave to Hwy 61. We decided to take off there because it probably wouldn't be as nasty as 694/35. Anyways, that's boring. We get to hinck-town and check in at the hotel. The hallway smells like unwashed crotch. Nasty. I think it's from all of the old people that bother getting a hotel room for some reason even though all they do is sit at the casino and go to the bathrooms on the stools because their slot machine is 'getting hot'. Usually that's because of the urine running down their legs. Anyways, enough of that. Friday night we checked in, went to my house and said hi to my mom and brother. Tyler left and mom went to Peggy's. We stopped and had dinner at Tank's, though. Cory LOVED the bar food. Which is good. :) I like the food there too, even though I felt 100 times fatter after I left. Then we went out to Peggy and Rick's to see them. Mom was helping Alissa sew some crib bumpers for Lisa Blowers. We petted Madeline (who looked like a blind sheep shearer went after her, Peggy blamed it on a dull blade. But Matty's happy and that's all that matters.) and her butt kept catching up with her head. She was happy. Lola and Farley were scared of us, I think that they had too many little kids picking them up by their heads or tails. Then we went over to P & R's other farm to show Cory all of the tractors there. Cory loves John Deere. Then we pulled up by the cows and they stared at us.(Sarah*, skip this part) MMMmmm, good eats. Black Angus. They're good for food and clothing. Then Shaun honked and they jumped. Then they 'chased' us as far as the fence would allow. Cows are dumb and mean. Then we went back to the hotel and called Jennifer. She hung out with us and we went to the Casino. I got her and Kelley signed up for Grand Advantage so I got $20 and they got $5. Since it was Kelley's birth month she got free birthday month swipes, which earned her a grand total of $10. Then she also managed to win $14 at the 2 cent slot machines so she was happy. I played Jennifer and Shaun at air hockey and kicked their asses. Then we played Skee Ball. Then we had breakfast and went back to the hotel. Saturday morning Jennifer came over again and we all went swimming. Except Shaun. He sat in the patio chairs and drank Coors. Then we cleaned up and went to the Casino again, where Cory beat me at air hockey. It was close. My arm was killing me. We ate lunch at Taco Bell, and then went back to the hotel. Cory and Kelley went back to the casino and played more slots and Jennifer, Shaun and I sat in the room and watched Star Wars: A New Hope. Then I called my mom and got the grocery list because we were going to have supper at my parent's house. So the three of us went to Daggett's and got the food and came back. Kelley and Cory were making out. Haha interrupted them. Went home, I made supper, Shaun ate with us and then sat in the living room and watched music videos while the rest of us were in the kitchen talking. Thanks hun. Then we went back to the hotel and sat around. The pool area was full so we had to wait until 11 to get into the damn hot tub. We were there until midnight then we all went back to the room and Kelley and Cory went back to the casino. The three of us chilled until 1, then Jen left and I went to bed. Shaun didn't last much longer. We left after check-out Sunday and stopped in Stillwater to have Famous Dave's for lunch. It was good. Then I slept most of the way back to Menomonie and then I did homework all afternoon/evening. Fuun times. It was better than sitting in Menomonie doing nothing, but it was still boring. But fun, because it was different. Haha, that makes no sense.

Not much new

Just sitting at work wasting time. I wish I had something deep and inspired to talk about, but its definitly not in me today. i'm thinking about how much homework I have to get done before 'big party weekend' at the Chalets in Hinckley. Bringing a lot of Stout friends to H-town. Why? I don't know. They all seem really excited about it. I'm like, greaaaat. Hinckley. Oh, well. I have to go home today after hopefully getting research done today and do the dishes, pick up, scrub floors, and vacuum. A week ago last wednesday Shaun promised to have the dishes done. Well, that didn't happen. So he promised to get them done on Monday. Guess what? Yep, you guessed it. He's doing them SINKFUL BY SINKFUL ('Hey, at least I'm getting them done, don't worry about it!' in an angry tone). Meanwhile, the counter by the sink is full of dirty glasses, the stove has dirty pots on it and there's random crap all around so the now dirty plates get to sit on whatever empty counter space we have. I GET SO ANGRY when I have to be the only one making sure the place is clean! Why should I be the only one? 'Well, I don't really like this place, so I don't take any pride in it and that makes me not want to clean anything up' Well, la di effing da. I can't stand the place worse than he can't. (Did that make sense?) I've been the last one to do any DECENT cleaning (read: using cleaning products, not just picking up). EVERY time. It just makes me so angry I want to cry. So I will be the one to go home, listen to 'I can't stand just sitting around here' and watch him go and then I get to clean up. EVERYTHING. There's red SOMEthing all over the floor. I KNOW I didn't spill it because when I spill stuff on the floor, I wash it up immediately. Especially seeing as how when that happened it was about, oh, 3 days after I scrubbed it on my hands and knees. AFTER sweeping and shaking rugs and scrubbing the shower stall. I get mad and leave it all sitting out, but the really disgusting thing is is that he just leaves it and he doesn't really care. So it always falls to me to clean everything up. His contact lens solution that he gets all over the counter in the bathroom is like CEMENT after it hardens. Like HE cares. He doesn't have to clean it up. So I mention it to him and I get: Oh, I'm sorry. While he's sitting on his ass, not even sounding like he's sorry or that he even CARES. I had to put all of the garbage in the garbage, tie the bag up and leave it out side of the front closet before he would even do anything about it. I mentioned Sunday night how it needed to go out and he agreed. He doesn't really have a lot to do on Mondays. But I wasn't really surprised when I got home and it was still sitting in there, stinking. HE grabbed it last night when we went on our walk. When he did he looked at me like he expected a thank you. Haha. Right. Anyways, sorry about the rant. I could go on forever and ever about this. But I'm cutting it off right here.

Requested Update

This update is at the request of Sarah*, who is one of 2 people who read my blog. ;-) Thanks, Sarah* and Jean! :) Anyways, there hasn't been too much going on here. Wednesday I made sure that I got all of my requested re-sketches done for class and got my three mock-ups done. They look really cool, with super-vibrant colors. Awesome. So despite the reaming-out I got last week and my re-sketches, we didn't even look at the other 18 sketches. And everyone STILL liked the ORIGINAL sketch that didn't seem good enough. Wowsers. Figures, doesn't it? Then after that we talked about concepts for our 5th and final project of the semester. Since I like fantasy books, they thought I could go with that, or one of what I feel is a major issue in our day and time and that is the damage that is occuring to the environment. So.... how to make a webpage out of all of this? I dunno, but I am going to show up to class on Monday with 40 (!?!?!) sketches. And I have to sit in on an interview for my job position on Monday at 1, also. Should be an interesting day. So that means that I gotta get my work done by 1. Guess I'm coming in to work early! Haha. Yesterday not much happened. We went to eat at Applebee's after I was seriously bored sitting at the Lakeside with Shaun, Nick V (V), Nate and JP. BOOORING. Anyways, when we were at Applebee's we sat down and whatever and then I heard "Hiii!" It was Kelly (whom Shaun has christened 'Dirty') and Cory! They were eating there with her parents as it is Parent's weekend here at good 'ol Stout. Not that my mom is coming, but that's alright. She wouldn't be anything but bored anyways. But Shaun wrote "Dirty" on a napkin and kept holding it up so Cory and Kelly could see (her parent's backs were to us). Right when we got there Shaun hit the BR and I grabbed my keys to put on my purse and Kelly's mom heard it and asked "Oh, you aren't leaving because of us?!" And I was like, "No, I was just clipping my keys to my purse..." Too odd. But we all laughed when Shaun put up the napkin. He left it like that. And I felt stupid becuase I bumped into this waiter... twice. Luckily, he didn't dump anything on the people at the table. He's a good waiter. I hoped they tipped him well! (And I did NOT have any alcoholic beverages in my system... I'm naturally clumsy. ;-)) Tonight, I am going to see Morgan Spurlock and 'Supersize Me'. He's actually coming here to do a lecture after the showing of this film. Should be interesting, and I am hoping that it turns me off of fast food forever. Haha. I'm going with Andrea (my former roomate) and Jaima, her current roomate. Shaun's hanging with the guys and what not. He's thinking that he's going to sit at JP's house and watch Ultimate Fighting with them tomorrow night. He told me I could go with, but who wants to sit in a small dirty apt with a bunch of amped-up testosterone-laden boys? Sure as HELL isn't me. I'd like to spend the night with Shaun, but if he'd rather do that then I guess it's the perfect opportunity to get my 40 sketches done. I think I am going to need a new sketchbook soon. Haha.

Oh, and I've lost a GRAND total of 15 lbs now. I can't wait until I lose 20 more... should be able to start fitting into those old clothes again then!!! YAAY!

ooh... what a relief it is!

Got done with my presentation yesterday, FINALLY after running around like mad all morning trying to get all my shit in. Why do I do this to myself? I ask myself this every time. Then I promise not to do it again. Then what do I do? I do it again. Haha. She told me that I talked too fast and didn't let the information sink in, but I always do when I present due to nervousness. But she felt I presented myself well. That's a plus. Especially after the reaming we got on Wednesday! Oi, I think that that was most of the reason I was so freaked out about it. Well, that and the fact that I didn't do a whole lot of work untilo Thursday! Haha. As soon as I was done presenting, though I got a huge, horrid headache. My mom thinks it is from tension release because the same thing happens to her. But it felt good to sleep finally. I definitly didn't get enough this past weekend. So I gave myself last night to relax and now today I have to do postcard designs for our critique tomorrow. Mock ups, even. Joy oh joy. Anyways, that's about it for now!

Less stressed, still have a lot to do!

I got through my Flash Hands On Training - Beyond the Basics book this morning.... it only took me another three hours after I went to sleep for three hours last night. Stayed up until 5:30 then got up at 8:30. I should have just stayed up, but that office chair and desk was so uncomfortable! It has a keyboard drawer for Shaun's keyboard (since obviously mine is integrated ;) ) so I can't get close enough to the desk. Grrr. Then 2 our of my 4.1 speakers isn't working. They sound distorted. Grr... Took a shower and feel pretty good. I feel like I got more than 3 hours but less than 8. Like usual.

Shaun says his interview went well at first but then the two engineers that were interviewing him started grilling him... according to Shaun, he floundered. He says it was stuff he should have known from Freshman year (the year he partied...) So maybe we won't be going to Hutchinson (too bad, it sounded like a pretty place, now it's looking like I'll end up at the 'rents until Shaun and I either 1. Find good jobs or 2. get married and have so-so jobs, then move on to better jobs). No matter what happens, we'll be ok... it just might not be what we want right away, but who gets what they want all the time? Definitly not me.

So here I am at the computer lab getting more Flash stuff. I have accomplished everything that I have said that I would in my project plan, I think I'm just feeling guilty that I haven't spent 40 hours/week on it. I did this week, but not the first and second. So in a limited amount of time I have to get it looking like I did. Ha. Right. Guess I am really going to have to bust my balls on the Studio Project and the Postcards.

Gotta do flash (again!) Have a great day. :)

Superstressed

But what's new? It's mostly my own fault anyways. I get to spend the next three days doing Flash stuff, and then Sunday creating the presentation. Goody. I hope it turns out well because we got a 1.5 hour reaming in class yesterday about how we didn't complete objectives, but we were never told what was expected. So our projects for Monday have to kick ass. So, it's not about what the professor expects of us, but it's what we want. Meanwhile, she evaluates us on performing objectives, which is basically what her idea of 'professional' is. So, would that not be what she expects? H'mmmm.... Funny. And she says that out in the 'real world' we have to know what to do. But our clients tell us what they want from us. EXPECT of us. The goods. The deliverables. Funny how that all works. Superawesome. Then our critique of our postcards is on wednesday. Yay. Oh, well. Gotta get that schiznit done. Then we start on our 4th (technically 5th) project for the semester. AND I have to find time to re-do my portfolio. I have to get that bastard done before the end of the semester.

And I'm worried about Shaun too. He called the contact lady for his interview yesterday to find out exactly what time it is at. She still hasn't gotten back to him. Or at least, that was as of 10 this morning. I'm hoping that this isn't going to scare away all potential employers. We'll make it, but I would rather still see him doing something that he wants to do. It's so much harder if you hate your job. So, here's hoping he's going to wow their socks off tomorrow! He gets to drive to Hutchinson tonight. I'm going to miss him and not be able to sleep! I'll bet it's going to be worse for him though.

Can't wait to graduate!! YAAY! Only a little over a month left... EEK!

I don't know what got into me

I guess I felt it was creative writing day. I really haven't done that since my Senior year. Well, perhaps I should clarify that, I've had three senior years. I meant the one in high school. :) We went out last night, I had a good time. I drank more than I probably should have, but drank water before going to sleep so I have a minimum of a hangover today, which I think I might even be able to credit as being tired, since I went to bed at 2 and got up at 8, which gave me only 6 hours of sleep. Not enough. :) Today at work I know I should be doing my homework, but the senioritis has me in a death grip. It's so nice out. I can't wait for tomorrow when it's going to be cold and rainy and I'll want to do nothing but sit inside all day. Yayers. I am feeling the pressure but apparently not enough. Even though I do have to do 20 sketches for my postcards (check all y'all's mailboxes come May!). Which sounds pretty dorky, but I'm actually pretty psyched that I am psyched to do homework. I have been thinking about this multimedia thing, and it's feeling like a grindstone around my neck. Do I REALLY want to do this for the rest of my life? That's a helluva good question. Do I? Don't I? Would I rather be a party planner? An executive assistant (gopher)? I know I love organizing things and whatnot but in order to do that in the design field it's looking like I'm going to be needing 2-5 years of webpage design. Bleck. Shaun just called me, bad news. Andersen's fired him for accidentally clicking on links that weren't business only. Bastards. Now he doesn't have a job. God. I really REALLY hope he gets this job at Hutchinson. We don't have a fall back any more. Stress levels times 1 billion = how I feel now. *tearing my hair out*

blah

Today.... is a blah day. Sure, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the grass is getting greener and the trees are budding. I feel like.... nothing. It's hard to say... I don't feel great, and I don't feel horrible. My stomach feels like a deep dark empty pit. It is gnawing and scratching at everything in the vicinity, trying to make its way out. Tearing the rest of my insides to ribbons. Maybe the claws have an anaesthetic effect because it doesn't hurt all that bad. Just going through the daily actions of existing is pain enough. To have to worry about everything else is too hard. Drifting on the swells and troughs of life is surprisingly hard. Watching the waters rise and recede, each time getting nearer and nearer to completely overwhelming me is enough to send me into a panic. But like being electrocuted, in pain while not being able to express it, there is nothing I can do about it. I just keep dreading the time that that wave will overcome me and I will succumb to its primordial strength. There is nothing my flimsy body can do to prevent it - I am a comparatively new invention. Now all I can see is blue and bubbles. The wave has finally got me.

Whatta weekend!

It started out normally enough... Chilled at work Friday hoping to get some homework done (I didn't). Shaun came and picked me up, we went and had supper with Andrea at El Patio, then we watched a movie. Shaun didn't stay up long enough to finish the movie (oh, but when I get up at 5:15 in the morning...) but right after it was done I went to bed. Saturday we went to the Cities where I spent WAAAY too much money. Had to get a new pair of nikes, though. The pair I have had since 10th grade finally crapped out on me. The air pockets now squeak because they popped on me. Bleck. After we got back we went to see Be Cool with Andrea at the Ghetto Theatre. It was a horrid movie. I really don't recommend it. Then yesterday we ate lunch at the Kernel and then played disc golf with Andrea again. Nick V and JP were both AWOL so they couldn't come with us. Then I did homework, went over to Nate's then I went home again and did homework while Shaun was still over there. At 10:30 I was thinking of going to bed and since Shaun didn't have any keys to get in and I knew I'd lay there worried about the damn door being unlocked and my sleeping I called Shaun to see if he was ready to come home. He told me to go get him, so I did. I was sitting at the stop sign waiting for traffic to stop long enough so I could get across Broadway. Looked in my rear-view mirror and saw a car coming up too rapidly. I saw the panic in their eyes. So I moved up a couple feet (there wasn't traffic in the near lane) but they still smacked me. CRACK! It sounded like I shouldn't have a bumper left. I called Shaun and told him to get here. They kinda started at my car in stupidity while I got out and waved at them. Boy, was I pissed. They backed up into the nearest parking lot and so did I. They got out and they were like "We're so sorry!" blah blah blah. I can't remember what I said, but they were like "We didn't mean to hit you." No shit sherlock. I don't know many people who deliberately hit other people's cars. Anyways, they had to back up and shine their headlights at my car (there wasn't anything wrong with their ROOMATE'S car as far as I could see... Oh, and did I mention that one was DEFINITLY underage and they were both drunk? {nice... driving drunk in their roomate's car}) and there was only paint scratches. I felt my bumper for cracks and didn't feel any. Shaun got there about then and got underneath and said my bumper mounts looked okay too. So, since there was nothing but a little traded paint I decided to let them off easy and not call the cops. They drove off. I was so upset I didn't think of making them call someone sober to drive them home. I wish I would have. They did give me 20 bucks, though. Which I guess is nice, but still. Dumb assses shouldn't be driving drunk. ESPECIALLY if you're under age. Ugh, my knees were shaking and the adrenaline was pumping. But I eventually got to go to sleep. And here I am today. At work, not doing my homework. :)